Last updated on September 1, 2014
What is an askhole?
I bet you’ve experienced this, right? Someone solicits your advice, free advice, of course, everyone wants something for nothing. So it doesn’t really matter what the question is, they ask and then, against your better judgment, you decide to help them out. After all, you’re here to help others anyway, right?
So you invest an hour or so of your own time to help them out; drafting the perfect response, maybe even doing a little research. You don’t want to guide someone down the wrong road so you take your response very seriously.
Once you send the reply or maybe it’s even in person, you get a thank you or not, it doesn’t matter; that’s not why you did it. But then later down the road you see that same person with the same problem, only now it’s compounded because they did nothing. You ask, “Hey, did you try my solution“? They say something like, “No, I never really got to it” or “I just didn’t have time“, our some other lame excuse.They were an askhole.
Three tips to avoid being an askhole
- Always think about what you’re asking from others.
- Don’t ask for advice to “be polite” or as a form of chitchat.
- Don’t seek the free advice of a professional if you’re not willing to at least make an attempt at applying it.
To be clear
Just to be clear, I’m not suggesting we should take every piece of advice we’re given, not even close. I’m only suggesting we not ask advice of someone, or even a question, when we have no intention of taking it or even considering the advice or answer given.
Don’t be an askhole
It’s as simple as that. Follow those three tips and you’ll never be an askhole again. Now, don’t be afraid to ask for help, just be prepared to do the required effort recommended, or at least consider it. The other solution? Pay for the advice like everyone else.
Brian D. Hawkins is a late-blooming thought leader in his mind. So please don't disturb his happy thoughts. It's all he has.
Brian D. Hawkins has been a blogger for over twenty years, having written thousands of public articles on dozens of websites. He currently blogs for NextStepSurvival.com and his personal blog at TheOpinionBlog.com.
Alright Alright! I’ll stop being an Askhole. It’s not like I talk in questions? Right? I dunno what do you think? I think that I don’t speak in questions all the time..maybe? I dunno I’ll have to pay closer attention to my speech patterns so I don’t always ask a question, don’t you think that’s a good idea?
Ha ha, that’s pretty funny Scott. I guess that could be seen as an askhole as well. 🙂
I like it, “Askhole” never heard that one before, for a brief moment when I saw the title I thought it may have been a typo lol
Hi Karen, I doubt that it’s in Webster’s but it’s not a typo. lol
Brian, I was wondering what this was about – I have that happen to me and then next time they ask for advice I’m less likely to give it. I wonder, why ask if they don’t take anything into consideration? Some may already know the answers and just want to ask to validate their own thinking I believe, no? Great point on not to ask if you are NOT going to do anything .
Hi Lisa, I think people don’t realize what might be involved on our end when they casually ask for help with something that may not be a priority to them. They may not expect us to start research, put time aside from a very busy schedule, and put real effort into it and then when we do, they haven’t given it a thought since they asked. That’s partly our fault as well but it can certainly affect relationships and future conversations.